It was another day on the strange and somewhat serene land of the alien world. It started off just like any other, the druidess rolling out of bed to check the medical notes left for her by the staff before, then moving to get some coffee and breakfast, still in her robe and a simple pair of glasses. There was a simple pleasure in reading the morning medical reports, sipping on the strange human drink, and eating the curious delicacies that this land had to offer, the rylak eggs giving her a bit of a rush as she added various spices to them, thinking on how much Lynx or Inodraen might enjoy them. As the morning started to continue on, the Kaldorei, now much more accustomed to waking with the setting of the Goddess rather than her rise went back to her room to start wrapping and bandaging her arm.
The wound was about a month old now, when she had last made a visit to Azeroth a cultist of some variety or sort had managed to catch her off guard in an alley, and what started off as some kind of simple acid burn to her hand was quickly growing. It had already crawled up and consumed most of her right hand, and the tendrils of whatever it was were creeping up to her elbow. Giving a rather pathetic whine she started wrapping it once more, hoping to slow it’s progression until the doctor could figure out its cause.
“A package for you Ms. Stargrove” came a knock at the door, a small and helpful dwarf standing with a poorly wrapped package, much to Alnarra’s surprise. She gave a quaint smile to the small bearded fellow giving a quiet nod, “I didn’t realize that anyone was sending me mail all the way out here.” She scratched her head for a bit as she made her way to pick it up, looking over the sending address, “Where… where did this come from?” she asked in a curious manner, looking the Dark Iron Dwarf over.
It was taking some time to get used to the changes in the Alliance, and the inclusion of the Dark Iron and Wildhammer in the Alliances ranks was no different, the man could only offer a courteous smile as he clarified that he only delivered the mail sent from the Alliance’s slowly growing base in Ashran. Giving gentle nod she took the package back into her room setting it down on the table to examine later. The truth of the matter was that she was still packing so that Inodraen and she could make their visit to their slightly paler companion patrolling Nagrand.
She had been waiting to go on this trip for weeks, planning out every small little detail, what color she was going to paint her and Inodraen’s fur to mask their druidic markings, the route they were going to take to avoid the front lines, the passageways they would navigate to get to Lynx as safely and as quickly as possible. She smiled thinking of the three of them together, lounging about lazily, holding each other, and speaking of the future. She smiled deeply as her mind drifted to the matter.
Laughing a bit she went over to look at the box, reading the shipping label again, “Hmm… addressed directly to me. That Gnomerean .25” Microscope couldn’t have gotten here…. This quickly” she shook her head a bit as she went to pull a knife from the drawer, slowly cutting away at the twine bindings, she found a small letter which she unfolded, reading it slowly
Dearest Doctor Stargrove,
It has come to our attention, that for some time you have managed to avoid recompense for your actions. Our brief meeting in Stormwind was but a taste of what we have for you, and as a kind reminder of what our meetings have been like in the past, we have decided to ship you something to ensure that your full understanding of what we intend to do to you, your loved ones, and all those they ever called friend or family
The druidess gave a bit of a stray blink at the letter reading it again, she nervously looked at the box, going to start peeling back the lid. Biting her lip heavily she motioned for Kykona to come over with her knowing it’d be safer for the constant pest, but remarkable survivor of a Sprite Darter to open it. Her eyes were ever vigilant, druidic magic at the ready for whatever may be inside.
But as the lid was removed, what was inside instantly seemed to bring the 5,000 year old druidess, doctor, and mother of three to her knees. Her whole form was winded as she could barely speak, throwing up seeming the only recourse, she vomited again and again, “No…”. She slowly crawled towards the desk, pulling herself up to look at the contents, tears rolling down her cheek as she stared into the simple, mundane box. Inside Two Kaldorei ears preserved in a strange green fluid, a single eye, floating in a small glass chamber, and a skull. But Alnarra only needed the ears to recognize these remains, swallowing heavily as her hands went to touch at them. “Veraldan” she whispered
Monday, May 13, 2019
Where'd you go? I miss you so (Warlords of Draenor)
The druidess sat silent in a quiet and reclusive home deep in the woods of Feralas. The building sat in a state of disrepair, roots growing in through the windows and door frame. The chimney long ago put out by time, now little more than a collection of loosely fitting bricks. The building was cracking and had long ago given itself to the negligence of time. As the hours ticked by, the druidess seemed to be chipping away at a wooden block, each piece carefully crafted and cared for. Her silvery eyes dim in the light of the day, her expression weathered and beaten.
She could count all the faults of the year that were beginning to run through her head. The loss of her relationship with Hafu, the abortion of the child that preceded it. Her time and injuries with the Devilclaw and the roller coaster of emotions it brought with. From meeting Baelali, to his burning down of her home. Alnarra’s experience with Araane, only to discover that love was more complicated then she had remembered. The hopes and dreams that she had placed in Inodraen, only for him to hide away in the mountains of Winterspring. The acts of a woman driven to sadness, and the investment of care she had made in a strange Sin’dorei huntress, the same huntress that now sat driven mad and under the protection of fae magics.
The druidess didn’t come here to dwell though. Alnarra had grown tired of dwelling, of spending her nights wiping her eyes of the tears that came with the pouring out of her heart. The months that had been nothing short of a spider web of failures and successes, all driving the relatively young Kaldorei to a state of absolute misery. She could hide her emotions in front of the others, pretend that what had transpired had not driven her to such a deep sadness, but not here. In this place, there was nothing Alnarra could hide, not from herself, and not from the world.
Setting the wood piece down, the woman returned to the familial room where she had spent her youth, going to sit on the bed, she pulled out a piece of literature on the priestesses of the moon. It was something her mother hand meant for her to become, but she was never quite practiced enough, never trained enough to take the position.
Instead she could only laugh as she turned the pages slowly, her eyes drawn to the unique drawings and passages. Each one written in an ancient Kaldorei manuscript, one the druidess was becoming less and less accustomed to seeing. Pulling her glasses from her satchel, she discovered that in this time they had been broken. The frame twisted and bent, the lens a shattered wreck. It took a roll of her eyes to dismiss the luck, just another item in a long list of things that had been broken in this travel.
“Figures doesn’t it Kykona?” she asked in a tired voice getting up and setting the book back in its place, amongst the cobwebs and dust. The sprite darter remained quiet through all of this, knowing that the fact that Alnarra had withdrawn this far did not bode well. Even in the darkness of losing her children Kykona had never seen this home, a sanctuary to a past that Alnarra had tried to forget.
“Why we here?” it asked quietly, afraid to disturb or move anything, it fluttered quietly next to the woman, it’s eyes sharp and its usual appetite for shiny objects diminished by the heavy weight of this place.
“Needed to think,” the druidess responded with a firm, almost uplifting voice. She pushed her way to a rear entrance going to look upon what was once a lush garden of vegetables, lavender, and so much more, now only sitting as a hollow and reminder of what it once was. With that there was a simple smirk as Alnarra began to call upon powers the circle thought it had been able to lock away in her trials. The roots that made their way through the soil seeming to react, as if ripples of druidic magic were passing through them. The very air seemed to become heavy as a laugh escaped her. “I think that’s about enough time in the forest of Feralas don’t you?”
With a scream of pure and unadulterated release, the ground around the shook, the trees and the roots all seeming to react, the silvery eyes of the Kaldorei burned with a ferocity now as she focused her attention, weaving the roots of the garden into position, curling them into a tight bundle. “The enemy sits at the gate, we have lost contact with countless outpost, and even now the Alliance is mustering a force to push through to the other side.” The smirk on her face grew brighter, “What do you think Kykona? Do you think they could use a bit of help?”
Confusion marked the face of the sprite darter, “Help?” it asked softly, its eyes meeting Alnarra’s own, “What you mean help?” it seemed to gulp a bit at the implications.
“The Green Skins killed Dathans, I feel like they should feel the burn of that mistake, and all the other mistakes they have made. I am tired of sitting idly by while the world turns. Even if the circle doesn’t seem to trust me, I don’t really care anymore. I am Alnarria Elslora Stargrove and I have far more important things to do then to sit and weep” there was a passion in her voice, a clenched fist as she once again commanded the root bundle “Wish they had told me back in Moonglade that this was all little more than glorified shamanism” she smirked a bit before forming the root bundle into a treant, which she proceeded to draw her weapon on.
The moon rose and set before she was done with her training, hours spent fighting at her absolute peak, and every blow seemed to only invigorate the fire that burned within her belly. Growling in a proud manner she ran at the creature again and again, trading blows, an almost feral nature about the usually more stoic druidess.
“Time to stop crying” she laughed fighting with her sparring dummy, “Time to get things done”
She could count all the faults of the year that were beginning to run through her head. The loss of her relationship with Hafu, the abortion of the child that preceded it. Her time and injuries with the Devilclaw and the roller coaster of emotions it brought with. From meeting Baelali, to his burning down of her home. Alnarra’s experience with Araane, only to discover that love was more complicated then she had remembered. The hopes and dreams that she had placed in Inodraen, only for him to hide away in the mountains of Winterspring. The acts of a woman driven to sadness, and the investment of care she had made in a strange Sin’dorei huntress, the same huntress that now sat driven mad and under the protection of fae magics.
The druidess didn’t come here to dwell though. Alnarra had grown tired of dwelling, of spending her nights wiping her eyes of the tears that came with the pouring out of her heart. The months that had been nothing short of a spider web of failures and successes, all driving the relatively young Kaldorei to a state of absolute misery. She could hide her emotions in front of the others, pretend that what had transpired had not driven her to such a deep sadness, but not here. In this place, there was nothing Alnarra could hide, not from herself, and not from the world.
Setting the wood piece down, the woman returned to the familial room where she had spent her youth, going to sit on the bed, she pulled out a piece of literature on the priestesses of the moon. It was something her mother hand meant for her to become, but she was never quite practiced enough, never trained enough to take the position.
Instead she could only laugh as she turned the pages slowly, her eyes drawn to the unique drawings and passages. Each one written in an ancient Kaldorei manuscript, one the druidess was becoming less and less accustomed to seeing. Pulling her glasses from her satchel, she discovered that in this time they had been broken. The frame twisted and bent, the lens a shattered wreck. It took a roll of her eyes to dismiss the luck, just another item in a long list of things that had been broken in this travel.
“Figures doesn’t it Kykona?” she asked in a tired voice getting up and setting the book back in its place, amongst the cobwebs and dust. The sprite darter remained quiet through all of this, knowing that the fact that Alnarra had withdrawn this far did not bode well. Even in the darkness of losing her children Kykona had never seen this home, a sanctuary to a past that Alnarra had tried to forget.
“Why we here?” it asked quietly, afraid to disturb or move anything, it fluttered quietly next to the woman, it’s eyes sharp and its usual appetite for shiny objects diminished by the heavy weight of this place.
“Needed to think,” the druidess responded with a firm, almost uplifting voice. She pushed her way to a rear entrance going to look upon what was once a lush garden of vegetables, lavender, and so much more, now only sitting as a hollow and reminder of what it once was. With that there was a simple smirk as Alnarra began to call upon powers the circle thought it had been able to lock away in her trials. The roots that made their way through the soil seeming to react, as if ripples of druidic magic were passing through them. The very air seemed to become heavy as a laugh escaped her. “I think that’s about enough time in the forest of Feralas don’t you?”
With a scream of pure and unadulterated release, the ground around the shook, the trees and the roots all seeming to react, the silvery eyes of the Kaldorei burned with a ferocity now as she focused her attention, weaving the roots of the garden into position, curling them into a tight bundle. “The enemy sits at the gate, we have lost contact with countless outpost, and even now the Alliance is mustering a force to push through to the other side.” The smirk on her face grew brighter, “What do you think Kykona? Do you think they could use a bit of help?”
Confusion marked the face of the sprite darter, “Help?” it asked softly, its eyes meeting Alnarra’s own, “What you mean help?” it seemed to gulp a bit at the implications.
“The Green Skins killed Dathans, I feel like they should feel the burn of that mistake, and all the other mistakes they have made. I am tired of sitting idly by while the world turns. Even if the circle doesn’t seem to trust me, I don’t really care anymore. I am Alnarria Elslora Stargrove and I have far more important things to do then to sit and weep” there was a passion in her voice, a clenched fist as she once again commanded the root bundle “Wish they had told me back in Moonglade that this was all little more than glorified shamanism” she smirked a bit before forming the root bundle into a treant, which she proceeded to draw her weapon on.
The moon rose and set before she was done with her training, hours spent fighting at her absolute peak, and every blow seemed to only invigorate the fire that burned within her belly. Growling in a proud manner she ran at the creature again and again, trading blows, an almost feral nature about the usually more stoic druidess.
“Time to stop crying” she laughed fighting with her sparring dummy, “Time to get things done”
It could be worse right? ( Myst of Pandaria )
The druidess sat quietly in the Bar, she had been a regular enough patron of the pig and whistle that the barkeep had failed to notice her staying for upwards of 16 hours in the same chair, ordering nothing, and staring blankly into the emptiness of space. Her ears were folded back in a peculiar showing of displeasure as she seemed to be only in the mood for sighing.
It had been 3 days since the Trial in Moonglade, something she hoped would be nothing more then a show of force had turned into something far worse. Perhaps it was a poor idea to bring her fellows along, between the outburst, and the accosting of the judge and the prosecution by the few witnesses that were interviewed, Alnarra was not sure if the trial had always been rigged or if her dismal failure of a defense had ensured her silent defeat.
She had been stripped of everything, her title as a member of the Cenarion Circle, her connection with nature itself, only her ability to shapeshift to her feline form remained, and she feared taking it's shape without the ability to calm it with druidic magics. The Circle was right, she had used blood magic, though it had been in self defense. She had used the magics of the Druids of the Flame to help her when she looked for her daughter nearly a year ago, but surely they must understand right? Were her ties toa criminal organization like the Devilclaw really that damning? Her association with Lynx was it the cause of her downfall?
It all mattered not now, the council's method for stripping a druid of their powers invented following the outbreak in the firelands, had ensured that her control of roots, winds, water, and healing had been taken from her.
And now, the Devilclaw set destitute, Hann having spent his money on gabmling and Araane having lost hers in a drunken fraternization with Booty Bay whores, Phaedra having lost her wealth to the appletons, it felt like the entire world had collapsed in a week. Putting her head between her hands, she let out a soft sigh.
There was no time for tears, there was no time for anger or shame. Alnarra knew that perhaps now she was at her lowest, but she still had Inodraen, Lynx and her friends right? She wanted to return to Darnassus, to see the priestess Fafen, or Ms. Seya. She would write them a letter, but right now even that was beyond her means. The travel to Darnassus would take weeks to save up for even if she was able to find a job as a waitress or something else in here in Stormwind.
Perhaps she could join the legion of others who now served in the brothels and red light district... No, she didn't... that was not her. She had more pride then that. She would scramble back to the to at least having a place to stay through her own means. Even if she didn't have her powers or her possessions there was something more right? She had heart, and the people she loved. That was more important then the other things.
She could find misery in her sorrows, but right now she needed to be strong. She needed to be strong for Lynx and Inodraen, she needed to show them that she could still stand, even if it hurt terribly to do so. She looked over at the table filled with ham and bacon, and her stomach gave a growl.
The druidess had spent so many days locked away in her lab, looking for some kind of answer, something to take her mind off things, but it was no use. With a shake of her head, she returned to staring at the wall, waiting, planning.
It had been 3 days since the Trial in Moonglade, something she hoped would be nothing more then a show of force had turned into something far worse. Perhaps it was a poor idea to bring her fellows along, between the outburst, and the accosting of the judge and the prosecution by the few witnesses that were interviewed, Alnarra was not sure if the trial had always been rigged or if her dismal failure of a defense had ensured her silent defeat.
She had been stripped of everything, her title as a member of the Cenarion Circle, her connection with nature itself, only her ability to shapeshift to her feline form remained, and she feared taking it's shape without the ability to calm it with druidic magics. The Circle was right, she had used blood magic, though it had been in self defense. She had used the magics of the Druids of the Flame to help her when she looked for her daughter nearly a year ago, but surely they must understand right? Were her ties toa criminal organization like the Devilclaw really that damning? Her association with Lynx was it the cause of her downfall?
It all mattered not now, the council's method for stripping a druid of their powers invented following the outbreak in the firelands, had ensured that her control of roots, winds, water, and healing had been taken from her.
And now, the Devilclaw set destitute, Hann having spent his money on gabmling and Araane having lost hers in a drunken fraternization with Booty Bay whores, Phaedra having lost her wealth to the appletons, it felt like the entire world had collapsed in a week. Putting her head between her hands, she let out a soft sigh.
There was no time for tears, there was no time for anger or shame. Alnarra knew that perhaps now she was at her lowest, but she still had Inodraen, Lynx and her friends right? She wanted to return to Darnassus, to see the priestess Fafen, or Ms. Seya. She would write them a letter, but right now even that was beyond her means. The travel to Darnassus would take weeks to save up for even if she was able to find a job as a waitress or something else in here in Stormwind.
Perhaps she could join the legion of others who now served in the brothels and red light district... No, she didn't... that was not her. She had more pride then that. She would scramble back to the to at least having a place to stay through her own means. Even if she didn't have her powers or her possessions there was something more right? She had heart, and the people she loved. That was more important then the other things.
She could find misery in her sorrows, but right now she needed to be strong. She needed to be strong for Lynx and Inodraen, she needed to show them that she could still stand, even if it hurt terribly to do so. She looked over at the table filled with ham and bacon, and her stomach gave a growl.
The druidess had spent so many days locked away in her lab, looking for some kind of answer, something to take her mind off things, but it was no use. With a shake of her head, she returned to staring at the wall, waiting, planning.
Stewing (Myst of Pandaria)
“Whore, liar, fool, brat”
The words rung through Alnarra’s head again and again without stop.
“Weak, pathetic, powerless, sniveling”
The druidess eyes remain shut as her whole form sat beneath the water, a small straw sticking from the gentle, almost serene surface. Below the water’s depths the woman lay back peacefully in the tub, only the movement of her chest from the slow breaths giving any evidence of her status.
“Failure, disgrace, wretch”
The sprite darter squeaked and hollered helplessly from inside the room, banging on the locked door begging for someone to come barging in. It called for help time and time again, but the Stormwarder home was empty this morning. The Guest bathroom remained empty save the panicked sprite darter and its companion. It went to find Alnarra’s stone but that was locked in the bedroom with her ever depleting satchel.
“Trivial, Worthless, Mistake”
In her mind Alnarra was plagued by thoughts that she tried to bury each and every day, the ability to simply remove the straw from her mouth and with the ironwood bindings she had wrapped around her arms and legs end it right then and there. To make all the pain go away, to end the suffering that she went through every day. She was so tired of being in tears, of being sad. She saw it on the faces of those she had come close to, their irritation with her sadness apparent in all their eyes. For the entirety of the last week anytime she had spoken to Araane it had been to yell at her, to tell her there was something wrong with her. Inodraen was so busy with the newbloods antics that he felt the need to stalk something in the woods. She had only managed to depress Delegoth with her mood, and even Lerlira could not bear to be with her long.
“Sabershit, Ruin, Pain”
Little Gwen, Araane, Alice, and Inodraen the only forces in her life that kept her moving. She could not see her own self-worth, her own image so badly distorted by the events of the last few days that she could hardly stand on her own. She had wondered into that Orc den looking for information on the woman who had pulled the wool over her eyes for so long. Her reason was in question, her ability to judge others in ruin.
“You’re so sad when you’re not getting laid…. You slut”
Delegoth’s words burned like fire through her soul, that the only way to make herself feel better was the affection and touch of another. Was she so pathetic, so needy, so craving of another’s touch that in their presence somehow Alnarra was made to feel better. Was Hafu right that the void in her heart was so obvious to everyone around her that she truly was pointless without another. That sex was some kind of vice she had come to rely on to fix herself.
“Death, Mediocre, trash”
Sarynth reminded her so terribly of the woman Alnarra spent her mornings hiding in the woods from, praying to the goddess that she would not be found before breakfast and hit again. All the old scars long since buried and healed…. But the soul still a terribly battered thing. She had spoken her mind with the woman and seen no reaction from her, nothing to show any fear, no remorse for her actions, and yet she knew that the person she had confessed her everything to, the person she had asked to be her lifelong mate, something she would have feared from any other now loved her more than Alnarra.
She could not hide her jealousy and rage, she had thrown her necklace to the ground, upset and angry as the woman seemed to reek of that same arrogant self-confidence, the same cold gaze that beat her helpless form for years without end, left scars and welts across her body that seemed like they would never stop hurting, and now her lover cared more for her.
The image of watching Sarynth Spit at her, while Araane condemned her for being upset over Gwen’s disappearance ran through her mind.
Alnarra grew so tired… and it would be so easy, to let it all just slip away. Gwen, Inodraen they would forgive her right? They would understand. She had already sent the lab results for Abby to the correct places. Someone… someone with more skills then her could resolve this issue. Alice would be ok, she didn’t need Alnarra. No one needed Alnarra. No one needed her…
“You don’t belong, you have no place to be, and No one needs you”
Alnarra began to let the straw go from her mouth, it drifted slowly to the surface as she opened her eyes to watch, holding on to a last breath she had gotten so tired of being sad, so tired of feeling like she was wrong, she did not know how to fix it anymore. She felt as if she had run out of options, and in that moment she finally felt as if perhaps she could stop being a burden. They would all be so happy if she was just gone. A faint smile crossed the druidess face as the last of her breath kept her eyes open, the water seemed to get deeper and warmer.
It was not long before the usually Hydrophobic Sprite darter was pulling desperately at Alnarra’s ears and face, it’s eyes full of panic as it tried to drag the druidess back to the surface. It did not understand she had seemed so happy the days before, it did not see why. It pulled and it tugged, its little wings flapping in a most desperate motion in the water. As it finally managed to bring the druid’s head above the water her face was full of the same sadness it had come to know for so long.
It waited, each second seeming like an eternity before she inhaled sharply coughing up water into the tub, her hands still bound by the ironwood she looked at Kykona with a sad sense of surprise.
“You cannot go!” it pleaded, tears rolling down the little sprite darter’s face, “I need you! They need you! You make people better! You heal the sick, the wounded, and they dying! You cannot go!” The sprite darter was incredibly animated its little hands shaking in frustration as it went to pull at her cheeks planting small kisses all along her face, “Why can’t you stop for one second and recognize that you are a good person!”
Alnarra’s expression became defensive, frantic, “If I hadn’t spoken to Gwen as I did, about that foolish topic she never would have gone to Stormwind. If I had been stronger, better, more capable I could have been enough for Araane, and she would not sleep with a woman who will only hurt her! If I was smarter I would have never fallen for that imposter! I am wrong! I have always been wrong. Since the day I took my first breath I was a mistake!”
The sprite darter slapped her with its small paw across the cheek, “You’re not a mistake to me! You weren’t a mistake to him! You can’t leave. So many of us need you!” It wept holding her face, “Stop,” it pleaded, its voice growing weak and upset, “Stop seeing yourself as the enemy Alnarria, you aren’t the enemy. I know things are hard, I can see the look on your face as you have fought in this year, in these months to find your place and maybe it is not among this den of thieves. Please listen to me Alnarria, please do not go!”
The sprite darter looked at the woman helplessly, as the strength she had been so desperate to maintain throughout the night before fractured and shattered. The Druidess who pretended to be strong, who hid her fears and her loathing began to cry once more, the small sprite darter simply holding Alnarra close, “I’m sorry Kykona,” she spoke softly.
The words rung through Alnarra’s head again and again without stop.
“Weak, pathetic, powerless, sniveling”
The druidess eyes remain shut as her whole form sat beneath the water, a small straw sticking from the gentle, almost serene surface. Below the water’s depths the woman lay back peacefully in the tub, only the movement of her chest from the slow breaths giving any evidence of her status.
“Failure, disgrace, wretch”
The sprite darter squeaked and hollered helplessly from inside the room, banging on the locked door begging for someone to come barging in. It called for help time and time again, but the Stormwarder home was empty this morning. The Guest bathroom remained empty save the panicked sprite darter and its companion. It went to find Alnarra’s stone but that was locked in the bedroom with her ever depleting satchel.
“Trivial, Worthless, Mistake”
In her mind Alnarra was plagued by thoughts that she tried to bury each and every day, the ability to simply remove the straw from her mouth and with the ironwood bindings she had wrapped around her arms and legs end it right then and there. To make all the pain go away, to end the suffering that she went through every day. She was so tired of being in tears, of being sad. She saw it on the faces of those she had come close to, their irritation with her sadness apparent in all their eyes. For the entirety of the last week anytime she had spoken to Araane it had been to yell at her, to tell her there was something wrong with her. Inodraen was so busy with the newbloods antics that he felt the need to stalk something in the woods. She had only managed to depress Delegoth with her mood, and even Lerlira could not bear to be with her long.
“Sabershit, Ruin, Pain”
Little Gwen, Araane, Alice, and Inodraen the only forces in her life that kept her moving. She could not see her own self-worth, her own image so badly distorted by the events of the last few days that she could hardly stand on her own. She had wondered into that Orc den looking for information on the woman who had pulled the wool over her eyes for so long. Her reason was in question, her ability to judge others in ruin.
“You’re so sad when you’re not getting laid…. You slut”
Delegoth’s words burned like fire through her soul, that the only way to make herself feel better was the affection and touch of another. Was she so pathetic, so needy, so craving of another’s touch that in their presence somehow Alnarra was made to feel better. Was Hafu right that the void in her heart was so obvious to everyone around her that she truly was pointless without another. That sex was some kind of vice she had come to rely on to fix herself.
“Death, Mediocre, trash”
Sarynth reminded her so terribly of the woman Alnarra spent her mornings hiding in the woods from, praying to the goddess that she would not be found before breakfast and hit again. All the old scars long since buried and healed…. But the soul still a terribly battered thing. She had spoken her mind with the woman and seen no reaction from her, nothing to show any fear, no remorse for her actions, and yet she knew that the person she had confessed her everything to, the person she had asked to be her lifelong mate, something she would have feared from any other now loved her more than Alnarra.
She could not hide her jealousy and rage, she had thrown her necklace to the ground, upset and angry as the woman seemed to reek of that same arrogant self-confidence, the same cold gaze that beat her helpless form for years without end, left scars and welts across her body that seemed like they would never stop hurting, and now her lover cared more for her.
The image of watching Sarynth Spit at her, while Araane condemned her for being upset over Gwen’s disappearance ran through her mind.
Alnarra grew so tired… and it would be so easy, to let it all just slip away. Gwen, Inodraen they would forgive her right? They would understand. She had already sent the lab results for Abby to the correct places. Someone… someone with more skills then her could resolve this issue. Alice would be ok, she didn’t need Alnarra. No one needed Alnarra. No one needed her…
“You don’t belong, you have no place to be, and No one needs you”
Alnarra began to let the straw go from her mouth, it drifted slowly to the surface as she opened her eyes to watch, holding on to a last breath she had gotten so tired of being sad, so tired of feeling like she was wrong, she did not know how to fix it anymore. She felt as if she had run out of options, and in that moment she finally felt as if perhaps she could stop being a burden. They would all be so happy if she was just gone. A faint smile crossed the druidess face as the last of her breath kept her eyes open, the water seemed to get deeper and warmer.
It was not long before the usually Hydrophobic Sprite darter was pulling desperately at Alnarra’s ears and face, it’s eyes full of panic as it tried to drag the druidess back to the surface. It did not understand she had seemed so happy the days before, it did not see why. It pulled and it tugged, its little wings flapping in a most desperate motion in the water. As it finally managed to bring the druid’s head above the water her face was full of the same sadness it had come to know for so long.
It waited, each second seeming like an eternity before she inhaled sharply coughing up water into the tub, her hands still bound by the ironwood she looked at Kykona with a sad sense of surprise.
“You cannot go!” it pleaded, tears rolling down the little sprite darter’s face, “I need you! They need you! You make people better! You heal the sick, the wounded, and they dying! You cannot go!” The sprite darter was incredibly animated its little hands shaking in frustration as it went to pull at her cheeks planting small kisses all along her face, “Why can’t you stop for one second and recognize that you are a good person!”
Alnarra’s expression became defensive, frantic, “If I hadn’t spoken to Gwen as I did, about that foolish topic she never would have gone to Stormwind. If I had been stronger, better, more capable I could have been enough for Araane, and she would not sleep with a woman who will only hurt her! If I was smarter I would have never fallen for that imposter! I am wrong! I have always been wrong. Since the day I took my first breath I was a mistake!”
The sprite darter slapped her with its small paw across the cheek, “You’re not a mistake to me! You weren’t a mistake to him! You can’t leave. So many of us need you!” It wept holding her face, “Stop,” it pleaded, its voice growing weak and upset, “Stop seeing yourself as the enemy Alnarria, you aren’t the enemy. I know things are hard, I can see the look on your face as you have fought in this year, in these months to find your place and maybe it is not among this den of thieves. Please listen to me Alnarria, please do not go!”
The sprite darter looked at the woman helplessly, as the strength she had been so desperate to maintain throughout the night before fractured and shattered. The Druidess who pretended to be strong, who hid her fears and her loathing began to cry once more, the small sprite darter simply holding Alnarra close, “I’m sorry Kykona,” she spoke softly.
What's in the box? (Myst of Pandaria)
The druidess sat huddled in a ball next to the fire, her close friend Alice not leaving her side. Her eyes never left the small box that sat only a mere feet away, covered in blood and reeking of death the druidess hung her head while it sat there, a small tag that accompanied it with only the simple words, “For Alnarra: Thinking of you”. The contents had been most vial, the carcasses and remains of sabers and large felines. The sender an unknown name to her.
She was not sure if it was a friend of Bael’s or perhaps someone Hafu might have known, or even worse someone else that might have something against her. All she did know is that the box reeked of death and given her love and affection for her own feline form a warning of some kind to her. Her imagination ran wild as she sat rocking back and forth next to the fire, her fingers and hands pulling her knees close to her. In her many years she had never received something like this in the mail. Perhaps it was because of her affiliation with the Devilclaw, perhaps it was a jilted lover, or perhaps worse some new threat she had not yet imagined.
Regardless of the cause she could not ignore the result staining the stone floor next to her with the blood of innocent creatures that just so happened to share a similar shape as her on some days of the week. She looked over to Alice who was keeping a close watch on the doors, she had asked Araane and the rest of the Devilclaw if they had known the sender, to no avail. She called out to Inodraen over the stones not knowing where he was but seeking his comforts more than most nights.
She could not shake the reading she had been given, noting that she would find someone, a woman, would come to her to show her how to recover from her pains, but it would require isolation. Then as if by some kind of strange twist of fate Priestess Fafen had appeared to join the devilclaw, even if it was only for a short time. Was this the woman she was supposed to meet? Was Fafen the one that would guide her form her pain and misery? Alnarra could not be sure, her mind was consumed by the contents of the shipment in front of her.
Her relationship with Inodraen seemed to be going well enough, but the reading had said that she would need to be isolated and alone. Did this mean that Inodraen was not right for her? Was it just a bunch of silly cards? All the questions that Alnarra could keep contained in her momentary bliss had come flooding back to her, overwhelming her mind with worry and doubt.
She had spoken with Phaedra and in some ways confirmed her own worst fears, that perhaps she was never special, that she never meant anyone to anything. She knew that is not how Phaedra meant things, but right now more than ever Alnarra felt isolated, lost, and alone. She knew her place never really was as a member of the Devilclaw, she was never cut out for their actual operations. But she nowhere else to turn, nowhere else that she could fit in. She was not and never had been a sentinel, the military code had never suited her. The strict requirements of being a soldier were something she had never been able to conform to no matter how much she tried.
Her time with the Eternal Flame had gone poorly, ending in misery for all parties involved. No matter how many close friends she made, how many people she let get close, she felt like an outsider. Even amongst her own people, in the streets of Darnassus she felt as if she did not belong, that despite whatever Kaldorei blood may pump through her veins that something was wrong with her, something made her different from her brothers and sisters. She did not share a proper warrior’s spirit, and her talents as a mender were paltry on the best of days compared to some of her comrades. She did not know how to fight, cook, or sew. All the druidess knew were the skills she had already demonstrated and she felt as if she was at her limit.
She tried to hide the fear, the self-loathing, the misery from the others, she could not let them get concerned. No matter how often and how hard she tried to feet and tame the beast inside it kept raging against her to be free. She hated to see others upset, worried, and miserable, but it seemed to be the nature of things and the Devilclaw in particular. Every night a new tear seemed to fall, a new fight broke out, and Alnarra wondered perhaps if she made the right choice.
Araane would go on to find new lovers, Jiji would look after Bael. Little Gwen seemed to be making a recovery and finally mending her relationship with her sister. Little Lithiaris had finally gotten the marriage she had been asking for. Mr. Briscoe was firmly reunited with his watch and had his own quest to maintain. Johias had been freed from his painful past and the consequences there in. Delegoth was making his own happy pairings and trying to muddle through things as best he could, and even where he couldn’t Alnarra knew she could not be of any help. All the people in Alnarra’s life, even Inodraen seemed to operate fine without her, and perhaps that is what worried her the most. That she needed them to move on, to strive, to continue living, but none of them needed her in the same way. Alnarra’s desperation grew to a new edge as for one last time she looked at the box before choking back tears and drifting into the endless turmoil that was her own mind.
She was not sure if it was a friend of Bael’s or perhaps someone Hafu might have known, or even worse someone else that might have something against her. All she did know is that the box reeked of death and given her love and affection for her own feline form a warning of some kind to her. Her imagination ran wild as she sat rocking back and forth next to the fire, her fingers and hands pulling her knees close to her. In her many years she had never received something like this in the mail. Perhaps it was because of her affiliation with the Devilclaw, perhaps it was a jilted lover, or perhaps worse some new threat she had not yet imagined.
Regardless of the cause she could not ignore the result staining the stone floor next to her with the blood of innocent creatures that just so happened to share a similar shape as her on some days of the week. She looked over to Alice who was keeping a close watch on the doors, she had asked Araane and the rest of the Devilclaw if they had known the sender, to no avail. She called out to Inodraen over the stones not knowing where he was but seeking his comforts more than most nights.
She could not shake the reading she had been given, noting that she would find someone, a woman, would come to her to show her how to recover from her pains, but it would require isolation. Then as if by some kind of strange twist of fate Priestess Fafen had appeared to join the devilclaw, even if it was only for a short time. Was this the woman she was supposed to meet? Was Fafen the one that would guide her form her pain and misery? Alnarra could not be sure, her mind was consumed by the contents of the shipment in front of her.
Her relationship with Inodraen seemed to be going well enough, but the reading had said that she would need to be isolated and alone. Did this mean that Inodraen was not right for her? Was it just a bunch of silly cards? All the questions that Alnarra could keep contained in her momentary bliss had come flooding back to her, overwhelming her mind with worry and doubt.
She had spoken with Phaedra and in some ways confirmed her own worst fears, that perhaps she was never special, that she never meant anyone to anything. She knew that is not how Phaedra meant things, but right now more than ever Alnarra felt isolated, lost, and alone. She knew her place never really was as a member of the Devilclaw, she was never cut out for their actual operations. But she nowhere else to turn, nowhere else that she could fit in. She was not and never had been a sentinel, the military code had never suited her. The strict requirements of being a soldier were something she had never been able to conform to no matter how much she tried.
Her time with the Eternal Flame had gone poorly, ending in misery for all parties involved. No matter how many close friends she made, how many people she let get close, she felt like an outsider. Even amongst her own people, in the streets of Darnassus she felt as if she did not belong, that despite whatever Kaldorei blood may pump through her veins that something was wrong with her, something made her different from her brothers and sisters. She did not share a proper warrior’s spirit, and her talents as a mender were paltry on the best of days compared to some of her comrades. She did not know how to fight, cook, or sew. All the druidess knew were the skills she had already demonstrated and she felt as if she was at her limit.
She tried to hide the fear, the self-loathing, the misery from the others, she could not let them get concerned. No matter how often and how hard she tried to feet and tame the beast inside it kept raging against her to be free. She hated to see others upset, worried, and miserable, but it seemed to be the nature of things and the Devilclaw in particular. Every night a new tear seemed to fall, a new fight broke out, and Alnarra wondered perhaps if she made the right choice.
Araane would go on to find new lovers, Jiji would look after Bael. Little Gwen seemed to be making a recovery and finally mending her relationship with her sister. Little Lithiaris had finally gotten the marriage she had been asking for. Mr. Briscoe was firmly reunited with his watch and had his own quest to maintain. Johias had been freed from his painful past and the consequences there in. Delegoth was making his own happy pairings and trying to muddle through things as best he could, and even where he couldn’t Alnarra knew she could not be of any help. All the people in Alnarra’s life, even Inodraen seemed to operate fine without her, and perhaps that is what worried her the most. That she needed them to move on, to strive, to continue living, but none of them needed her in the same way. Alnarra’s desperation grew to a new edge as for one last time she looked at the box before choking back tears and drifting into the endless turmoil that was her own mind.
Feline Therapy (Gwen's writing, chipped in / Myst of Pandaria )
Gwenhwyfarr sat alone for the moment in one of the benches facing the fire of the inn. Almost to spite the half-full mug of coffee in front of her - and the two she’d already finished - the soft crackle and occasional pop of the wood burning seemed to pull her eyelids closed again. She was still uncomfortably full from the breakfast Phaedra practically shoved down her throat a few hours ago, and really only felt like curling up for a mid-morning nap.
From behind her came a heavily shuffled step and a loud yawn. Alnarra shambled sleepily by, rubbing tired eyes and headed towards a pot over the fire. “Hello little one,” she murmured with a tired voice. She was carrying a bottle of moonberry juice and poured it into the pot, splashing just a little onto the fire with a hiss.
Gwen covered up an answering yawn by quickly burying her face in her mug, finishing the contents. “Mornin’ mum.” The bruise on her thigh twinged and she winced almost imperceptibly as she got up to ask Donna for more coffee. “How’re you today?”
The Druidess yawned once more going to pour a cup of the hot moonberry juice. She sipped at it softly, shaking her head to clear it. “I’m awake,” she answered before going to crawl herself to one of the benching, sitting on it with another yawn and putting her head on the table.
"Mmm…" Gwen mumbled, “‘Bout how I feel…"
Alnarra patted the spot on the bench next to her, looking up at the girl. Gwen could see her hair looked unwashed since the other day and she was covered in hay. A slight hint of stable smell wafted over to Gwen as she took a seat next to Alnarra. “Your sister is asking about you, you know?” Gwen nodded once without saying a word, drinking her coffee with a sigh. Alnarra placed an arm around her, pulling her in to a one-armed hug. “She’s worried about you, and she wants to do nothing more than to see you, to talk to you about things a sister wants to talk about. She wants to know if you’re happy, who you’re dating, all those kind of things,” she smiled petting the girls hair.
Gwen sighed again, “I doubt it. She’s always looking for ways to get me in trouble. Probably still blames me for everything too. She doesn’t want to see me, just see me get punished…”
The Druidess gave a short little shake of her head, shifting quickly into her feline form. She raised her paw and turned Gwen’s face to look into her eyes. When she spoke again, it was with a firm and stern motherly undertone. “Gwenhwyfarr Lochlainn Thorn. Your sister is alone and scared in a town that she has never been to before, sleeping in the barn. Say what you will, but you are her blood… her only blood left in this world. She wants nothing more than to hear your voice and give you a hug. You are her Older Sister!”
"But I did that to her… Everything that’s happened to her, it’s my fault…"
Alnarra continued her stern motherly glare, holding the girl’s chin, “Little one… We have told you time and again that what happened that night, I know you think it was your fault… But it wasn’t! Do you hear me? And avoiding all of that… Avoiding it does nothing. She is your little sister, she is hurt, she is scared, and she is sad. Now you tell me anyone else in the world more qualified to go out there and at the very least… the absolute least to speak with her and tell her that her big sister is OK?”
"She knows I’m ok…"
The Druidess shook her head again, “She knows that others think you’re ok. She also knows that right now her big sister is ignoring her and can you imagine how painful that is?”
Her stubbornness refused to accept this talk. Gwen swung her head from side to side, trying to break eye contact. “She shouldn’t be here, mum… The Devilclaw will eat her up and spit her back out… She doesn’t need me,” she said with a tear running down her cheek, “she needs to forget I exist.”
Growing more stern and turning the girl’s head back to face her, Alnarra reprimanded “I don’t care where she ‘should be’, and frankly I don’t care about the Devilclaw at this very moment. What she needs is her big sister. Her big sister who has always taken care of her in the past. To go in there and be the responsible girl that I know she is. She is your sister…. your baby sister. This is NO ONE else’s responsibility but yours and you need to live up to it.”
Gwen swallowed, flinching back from the verbal assault and whispered hesitantly. “I… I can’t…”
Alnarra’s other paw reached up to cup her other chin, “Gwenhwyfarr Lochlainn Thorn… Of all the little girls in this town, of all of them that can and should do this… you. are. the. one. If nothing else… IF NOTHING ELSE, go out there, say ‘Hello.’ Tell her, ‘Look, little sister I am ok.’ Let her know that you’re alive, let her see your face. Don’t hide away from her like she’s some Forsaken plague…”
She continued whispering weakly, “What if she… Yells at me or says she hates me or… I don’t know, mum…” Gwen closed her eyes, “I know she’s me sis. And I love her… You… You couldn’t just go tell her I’m fine for me?” The thought of actually confronting Morgana at this point, after all this time, filled the girl with unexplainable dread.
"I have told her you’re fine. I’ve also held her when she cried into my fur because she’s upset and she’s afraid… but I’m not the girl’s blood. You are. Now if you want we can both walk out there and you can at the very least hug her, tell her that things are ok…" Alnarra lets out a low chuckle, "And if she yells, then she yells. That’s what sisters and brothers do from time to time. But in any case, I think it will be good for you both."
Gwen opened her eyes, fresh tears still running down her face. She scrubs at her eyes to clear them in that distinctly Lochlainn way. “Y-you’ll be there?”
"I’m your mum, aren’t I? Why wouldn’t I be there. I want to see you both be happy and the only way to do that is to at the very least have you two talking again. She’s scared, you’re upset, and neither of you should be. You are sisters." She goes to wrap her paws around the little girl pulling her into her furry chest before licking at her face to clear the tears.
With a loud sigh, Gwen took a deep, shuddering breath. And then another, more calm one. “Where is she…?”
Before answering, Alnarra pulled out a small muzzle and saddle combination from the satchel at her side. With a strange looking wiggle and certain skill, she fit it on. The end result giving off the impression of one of the Kaldorei riding sabers, complete with another stretch and a yawn. “She’s in the stables, little one. Hop on and I’ll take you there.”
"Hop… on…?"
"Yeah, I used to do this for my children all the time when they were younger."
——-
The two made their way to the stables, a grimace on Gwen’s face. Whether or not it was from the bumpy ride, her feet dragging slightly on the ground, or the impending confrontation even Gwen didn’t know. She clambered off the Druidess when they reached their destination, Alnarra shifting quickly back into her elven form with an audible groan. “Ms. Morgana there is someone here who wants to see you!” her voice was calm and pleasant. She wrapped her arms tightly around Gwen, holding the little girl close to her, giving her a small amount of comfort.
Morgana’s raspy voice called out from her stall. “To spot me, guv?” Gwen flinched against Alnarra’s shoulders at the obvious sounds of her sister’s damaged throat. “‘Oo would want to…” Her voice trailed off with realization and the sounds of hay rustling came from one of the stalls. Morgana appeared from around the wall with straw sticking out of her hair. She looked at the two standing across from her, “Sticky Paws…?” Gwen flinched again at hearing her childhood nickname. Her eyes were drawn immediately to the four claw marks that rent her sister’s face from forehead to chin and the milky white left eye looking back at her. She found herself unable to speak, faced with this spectre of her past.
"Your big sister decided it was time to come by and say hello." Alnarra spoke for her with a bright smile and a nod of encouragement. "She’s afraid that you want to yell at her. Now, I told her that’s not the case, at least not today." She chuckled as she gave a small but encouraging nudge to Gwen, pushing her towards her sister and whispering, "It’s going to be ok little one, just say hello and give her a hug."
"Yell at ‘er…?" Morgana looked surprised, "Why would I yell at ‘er?" Gwen stumbled forward awkwardly at the nudge. Hesitantly she mumbled as she took another step forward, "Um… Hi, ‘Gana…"
Alnarra kept pace with the woman, staying close to Gwen. “She’s… upset about what happened, more upset then she knows, and she’s afraid.” Gwen stopped a few feet away from her sister and Alnarra gave her a small, reassuring kiss on the back of the head, ruffling her hair with her hand. With another nudge forward the Druidess continued, “I told her that wouldn’t happen though, that you just wanted to see how she was doing.”
At Alnarra’s instance, the two Lochlainns hugged, Gwenhwyfarr awkwardly and Morgana with a genuine smile on her face. “Sticky Paws… C’mon. I told yer all were forgiven in the Light.” She smiled, her hand holding the back of Gwen’s head against her chest which forced the shorter girl to stare right into her scarred and damaged throat.
Gwen shuddered at another visual reminder of her violent change, “I know you did but… But you said nothing of what you think.”
Alnarra moved closer to the two sisters. She placed her hand on both of their shoulders, giving them both a pat and leaned down so she can be at their level, “It’s ok… you two are siblings. You must speak the truth to each other, and now so more than ever. If you sit on your emotions they will eat away at you.” She leaned into kiss Gwen’s forehead.
Gwenhwyfarr looked to Alnarra for a quick moment, taking a step back. She reached up hesitantly with her hand and traced lightly the scars on Morgana’s face. “I’m… I’m so very sorry, ‘Gana…”
Morgana, in a similar way, traced the scar around Gwen’s neck. “I know yer are, sis… Yer don’t ‘ave ter beat yorself up over this. I’ve forgiven yer.”
Alnarra walked back a few steps, watching from a safe distance between the two girls. She bit her lip as she found a place sitting on the railings with her arms crossed. Shooting them both a reassuring smile she offered, “If either of you need me to leave at any moment, please tell me.”
The two sisters looked towards Alnarra as if just remembering she were there. “Please stay mum,” warred with “Yer fine, Alnarra” as both sisters spoke up at the exact same time. They turned back to look at each other and laughed uneasily before lapsing into silence.
"Yer sure do ‘ave a bit of blokes ‘round ‘ere ‘oo care for yer…" Morgana said softly, after a time.
Alnarra gives a happy nod at the words and the laugh. She practically ripped Kykona out of her bag, going to whisper something to him. The little sprite darter was quick to fly towards the stables humming merrily as it went. Gwen smiled slightly for the first time, looking to her sister. “Well, the Devilclaw take care if their own you know. They’re like a second family.”
Morgana looked to Alnarra as if for verification before saying, “Well then I’m glad yer found them…”
Alnarra gave up her perch on the fence, going to walk over and hug Gwen tight. “She’s also pretty useful from time to time,” she giggled as she pointed to her green highlights. About the same time, the little sprite darter flew back with a rather strange looking gnomish device in its paws and looked quite proud of itself. The look of horror on Alnarra’s face could not be described as she began to shout vulgarities in Darnassian, causing the little sprite darter to start arguing back at her. Eventually Alnarra grabbed Kykona by the ear and pointed it back towards the stall hissing at it to go grab something else this time.
The two sisters laughed at Kykona’s antics. Morgana reached out and ran her fingers through Gwen’s hair, noting this week’s strawberry blonde color. She let out a small bark of a laugh, “And woss wrong wiv us natural ‘air color, Sticky Paws…?” She twirled a finger around her own tawny brown hair with a smile.
Gwen shrugged, “Spend two years on the run, ‘Gana… I’ve been trying to avoid notice by changing colors every so often.” She smiled, “Guess I’m just used to it now.”
Morgana’s hand fell back to trace Gwen’s neck scar again, her voice lowering. “Favver Abrachaim were wrong. ‘E shouldn’t ‘ave tried ter ‘ave yer ‘anged…” They lapsed into silence again, looking at each other uneasily.
"It was the priest who wished to have little Gwen hanged?" Alnarra tilted her head slightly before giving a nod "I see…" The small sprite darter came back, this time with a pot of freshly cooked soup. Alnarra is quick to spoon some out into three small bowls, "I see…" She bit her lip a bit, "Morgana… what happened that night. Gwen has told me what she remembers… but I want to hear your side as well."
Shock and horror shot through Gwen as she turned to give Alnarra a look full of meaning. Morgana, equally surprised, stuttered slightly. “Wot… Wot ‘append that night? I…” She turned her good eye to look back at Gwen, whose eyes were wide and appeared to be visibly shaking. “I don’t remember,” she lied quite obviously.
Alnarra seemed to notice Gwen’s look as well, reaching forward and grabbing hold of the girl almost protectively. Her expression is incredibly serious as she looked to the younger Lochlainn. “Morgana… she needs to know what you think happened that night.” She pulled Gwen down, keeping her nestled close to her and whispered, “It’s ok… it’s ok,” rocking the girl slightly.
Morgana took a deep breath, never taking her eye off her sister. “Gwenhwyfarr came ‘ome that night, right? I were messing wiv me doll by the fireplace but I could spot she’d been cryin’ and she were ‘oldin’ ‘er arm like she were ‘urt. Well… Her and us parents got into a fight and… And she yelled sumfink about not wantin’ ter take care of me and stomped up ter her room all angry like.” Gwen nodded along as Morgana recounted her side of the story. That night was clear in her mind as well, but hearing it told from her sister’s vantage point offered a new perspective.
"Muvver and Favver were goin’ on ter ffemselves so I snuck up the stairs ter see if I could ‘elp me sis… But wen I knocked on ‘er door I ‘eard this ‘orrible low growl…" Gwen felt tears come to her eyes, knowing what was coming next. Morgana stopped her tale at seeing this. She looked very unsure about whether or not to continue.
Alnarra pulled Gwen in tighter. Her tone was serious as she simply nodded at Morgana, “It’s alright. She needs to understand that the creature that attacked her sister that night wasn’t her. It was an abomination of Druidic magic.” Alnarra paused a very long time before speaking further, her own emotional rawness clear in her tone and a certain fear as she spoke quietly, “Just as I had to understand the creature which attacked and hurt my husband on the night of my children’s death was not me.” Gwen looked up into Alnarra’s eyes, the Druidess’s expression stone cold.
Morgana swallowed with some difficulty before continuing on. “Well I went back dahn ter go back to messing wiv me doll. Finks seemed normal for a few minutes, uvver than Muvver and Favver fighting quietly… Wen suddenly we ‘eard a loud crash from upstairs. Muvver rushed over ter me, Favver rushed over ter where ‘is weapons were wich I fought were right strange… Until this great big ‘airy beast came leapin’ from upstairs and tore Muvver oray from me. I remember Muvver screamin’… I remember blindin’ pain as me face were clored… I remember… I remember dyin’… She… She tore me froat out… I couldn’t spot out of me left eye… I couldn’t breaffe, the only sounds I could ‘ear were… Was my own gurglin’ and me Favver yellin’… And ev’ryfink went black…”
With a sob, Gwen turned away from her sister and buried her face into Alnarra’s shoulder. She cried pitifully, “I’m so… So very sorry.” Her voice whispered, “So sorry… Oh Light…”
"You both understand that the creature that killed your parents that night wasn’t Gwen correct?" she looked to Morgana, "The creature that did this to you was not, is not, and never again can be your sister. You know this right?" Alnarra nudged Gwen lightly, prying the girl away from her shoulder. "Shift to your worgen form… there is something I want you both to see."
Gwen’s eyes went wide as she stared into Alnarra’s eyes. She could hear her younger sister behind her protest, “She doesn’t ‘ave ter…”
Alnarra waved one finger under the scared Worgen girl’s nose but spoke sternly to her sister. “This is something you need to see Morgana, because you need to understand what attacked you that night, and you need to understand what and who your sister is now. More important than that,” she turned her eyes to the girl in her arms, “Gwen needs to understand exactly why things are different now,” She gave the two Lochlainns a deadly serious look, “You both need to understand for yourselves and for each other just WHAT the curse is and what it is not.”
Gwen hesitated for a few more moments before turning towards her kin. Morgana took a step back reflexively from her gaze. With a quick, deep breath Gwen shifted into her wolf skin, reaching in to that simmering pot of controlled rage and anger. She felt herself grow taller as always, now finally towering over her normally taller sister. The younger Lochlainn cried out, taking another step back as she looked at Gwen. Her back hit the stable wall and she shook her head. Gwen watched the look of panic growing on her sister’s face, felt the tears travel down her muzzle as her kin turned away.
The Worgen started in surprise as she felt Alnarra’s hands on her shoulder again. “Morgana! Look at us… Look at her, look in her eyes,” she practically demanded. “Tell me… and tell her… Look at her eyes.” Morgana slowly turned away from the fence, “Look at those eyes and tell me if what stares back at you is the same terrifying monster that took your father and mother away from you or if instead you see a scared, lonely girl who right now is hurt terribly. More then that I want you to touch her, because you need to feel that under that coat of fur, behind those scared eyes, it’s still the same Gwenhwyfarr, and it is NOT the monster, not anymore, and not ever again.” Gwen took a small step forward, which Morgana flinched back from. The Worgen let out a mournful sounding whine, flinching back in her own way and stared longingly at her sister.
Alnarra became more insistent, “Morgana… please. You need to understand, you have to understand what the curse ACTUALLY is, and until you look at her eyes, until you touch her like this, you are never going to understand that. Now I know you are a brave little girl, and this fur suit in front of you right now is nothing more than your sister’s out of control shaving habits.” Her voice goes quieter as she tries to comfort them both, “It is ok… don’t be afraid.”
Morgana turned a fearfully curious look towards her sister at the sad sounding whine. Slowly at first, and then gaining confidence as she crossed the stable yard, she reached Gwenhwyfarr and looked up into the Worgen’s golden eyes. Her hand reached up and Gwen flinched back from it, but Morgana continued on touching her older sister on the neck and feeling around for the neck scar there. “St…Sticky Paws…?” Gwen looked down at Morgana and gave her a small nod, swallowing audibly.
"What happened to your big sister is perhaps one of my people’s greatest failings, and a crime that is beyond words," She sighed before going to gently pet Gwen’s head, ruffling her hair. "But under that coat of fur, behind those eyes, it’s still little Gwen… your sister with the Sticky Paws." A certain smile crossed her face as she began to tickle the Worgen girl, "And she’s just as lost, hapless, and goofy as the rest of us."
"Hey!" Gwen protested and squirmed under the tickling. "Stop it mum!" She let out a bark of a laugh. Perhaps at the laugh, or the sight of her sister being tickled, or maybe at hearing Gwen talk for the first time in her wolf skin, Morgana pulled her older sister close into a tight hug saving her from the tickle attack. "It right is yer under there…" she whispered into Gwen’s fur.
Gwen looked back to Alnarra, her face full of the surprise she felt before wrapping her own furry arms around her younger sister. “Yeah, it’s me ‘Gana. M’sorry if I scared you. I’m so sorry… For everything…” They held each other close, both sister’s shoulders shuddering with tears.
The Druidess took a step back, smiling faintly to herself and letting the two girls just hold each other. “It has not been an easy path… for either of you. I’m sure it has been more difficult then I imagine, but you are both blood, and right now… right here you both have a chance to be next to each other. Family…” Alnarra choked up slightly, her voice full of emotion, “family is more important than the world itself.”
The two girls turned their three eyes towards Alnarra and they nod at the same time. Gwen looked back to her sister at seeing this with a brief chuckle, Morgana shaking her head at their similarities. Alnarra observed it all, beaming with pride. She knelt down a bit to look up to both of them, “You’re both going to be ok… It’s going to be a long and painful road, but you are both going to be ok… And I think that we should all schedule a trip… To see some people, to see an old place. Not right now… Perhaps not even soon, but eventually there is a place that the two of you need to visit together.”
Gwen had an inkling she knew where the other woman was thinking. “Not right now, no… We’re moving to camp up North for a bit for that contract, remember.” She looked to Morgana. “You’re welcome to come, you know…” Her younger sister shook her head almost immediately, “No. If it involves yor Devilclaw and contracts… No…”
"I will be moving with them as well to help tend to the wounded… but," Alnarra called from over their shoulders some distance away. She was returning from her stall in the stables holding in her hands a heavy looking book. Contained within are pages and pages of documentation on the Night Elf’s own internal study of the Worgen Curse, the stories which lead to the events, and everything else. She tentatively handed it over to Morgana, "While I’m gone you can read this. It’s been transcribed in common for the most part, but I left some notes for anything that’s still in Darnassian."
Morgana looked at the book, flipping through a few of the pages. “I couldn’t…”
Alnarra shook her head before the girl even started protesting, “I already had to memorize it all for a test and the like anyway,” She smiled a bit, “It’s something that can help you pass the time while we’re gone, and give you some insight on… why things are the way they are for your sister. When the world gives us unsettling blows it is best to look for the cause. Besides otherwise it’s just going to rot in my hay bale.”
Morgana curtseys low to the Druidess, “Thank yer, Alnarra…” She takes the large book, hesitates just a moment, and then gives Alnarra a hug. Gwen looked on a little awkwardly, still in her wolf skin.
With a smile towards the two girls, Alnarra took a seat in front of one of the still-steaming bowls of soup. She patted the ground around her, ”Well I don’t know about you two but I think that now is a good time for lunch, besides, Morgana was telling me just yesterday she wanted to ask you all about your love life,” she teased Gwen happily.
The Worgen girl melted down to her human skin with a deep breath, staring at Alnarra in horror. She turned her eyes to Morgana who laughed a raspy laugh as they both settled in front of their bowls of soup.
Alnarra gave a heatlhy chuckle before she teased Gwen once again, “She mentioned you didn’t always have a thing for older women.” There was a cheeky expression on Alnarra’s face as she shoved a spoonful of soup into her mouth.
Gwenhwyfarr’s opened and shut her mouth a few times, and she felt her cheeks turning red as she looked to Morgana. Her younger sister giggled around a spoonful of soup, swallowing with only a little difficulty. “I were tellin’ ‘er about yer little crush on the neighbor boy. Yer remember ‘im, right? Wot were ‘is name again?” She shot a lop-sided smile at her older sister.
Gwen shook her head, remembering the boy fondly. “Conall…” She whispered. “I haven’t thought of him in years…”
Giggling at the sisterly chatter, Alnarra patted Gwen lightly on her back “Oh, Conall was his name, eh? And what did he look like?”
Gwen’s voice turned wispy as she finally sat down to eat as well, “Oh… A good hand taller than me. Hair as red as a flame… Gorgeous emerald green eyes…” Her cheeks reddened further as she shoved a spoonful of soup into her mouth. The two women sitting around her laughed loudly at her expression as they sat and talked pleasantly for most of the rest of the morning and well into the afternoon.
From behind her came a heavily shuffled step and a loud yawn. Alnarra shambled sleepily by, rubbing tired eyes and headed towards a pot over the fire. “Hello little one,” she murmured with a tired voice. She was carrying a bottle of moonberry juice and poured it into the pot, splashing just a little onto the fire with a hiss.
Gwen covered up an answering yawn by quickly burying her face in her mug, finishing the contents. “Mornin’ mum.” The bruise on her thigh twinged and she winced almost imperceptibly as she got up to ask Donna for more coffee. “How’re you today?”
The Druidess yawned once more going to pour a cup of the hot moonberry juice. She sipped at it softly, shaking her head to clear it. “I’m awake,” she answered before going to crawl herself to one of the benching, sitting on it with another yawn and putting her head on the table.
"Mmm…" Gwen mumbled, “‘Bout how I feel…"
Alnarra patted the spot on the bench next to her, looking up at the girl. Gwen could see her hair looked unwashed since the other day and she was covered in hay. A slight hint of stable smell wafted over to Gwen as she took a seat next to Alnarra. “Your sister is asking about you, you know?” Gwen nodded once without saying a word, drinking her coffee with a sigh. Alnarra placed an arm around her, pulling her in to a one-armed hug. “She’s worried about you, and she wants to do nothing more than to see you, to talk to you about things a sister wants to talk about. She wants to know if you’re happy, who you’re dating, all those kind of things,” she smiled petting the girls hair.
Gwen sighed again, “I doubt it. She’s always looking for ways to get me in trouble. Probably still blames me for everything too. She doesn’t want to see me, just see me get punished…”
The Druidess gave a short little shake of her head, shifting quickly into her feline form. She raised her paw and turned Gwen’s face to look into her eyes. When she spoke again, it was with a firm and stern motherly undertone. “Gwenhwyfarr Lochlainn Thorn. Your sister is alone and scared in a town that she has never been to before, sleeping in the barn. Say what you will, but you are her blood… her only blood left in this world. She wants nothing more than to hear your voice and give you a hug. You are her Older Sister!”
"But I did that to her… Everything that’s happened to her, it’s my fault…"
Alnarra continued her stern motherly glare, holding the girl’s chin, “Little one… We have told you time and again that what happened that night, I know you think it was your fault… But it wasn’t! Do you hear me? And avoiding all of that… Avoiding it does nothing. She is your little sister, she is hurt, she is scared, and she is sad. Now you tell me anyone else in the world more qualified to go out there and at the very least… the absolute least to speak with her and tell her that her big sister is OK?”
"She knows I’m ok…"
The Druidess shook her head again, “She knows that others think you’re ok. She also knows that right now her big sister is ignoring her and can you imagine how painful that is?”
Her stubbornness refused to accept this talk. Gwen swung her head from side to side, trying to break eye contact. “She shouldn’t be here, mum… The Devilclaw will eat her up and spit her back out… She doesn’t need me,” she said with a tear running down her cheek, “she needs to forget I exist.”
Growing more stern and turning the girl’s head back to face her, Alnarra reprimanded “I don’t care where she ‘should be’, and frankly I don’t care about the Devilclaw at this very moment. What she needs is her big sister. Her big sister who has always taken care of her in the past. To go in there and be the responsible girl that I know she is. She is your sister…. your baby sister. This is NO ONE else’s responsibility but yours and you need to live up to it.”
Gwen swallowed, flinching back from the verbal assault and whispered hesitantly. “I… I can’t…”
Alnarra’s other paw reached up to cup her other chin, “Gwenhwyfarr Lochlainn Thorn… Of all the little girls in this town, of all of them that can and should do this… you. are. the. one. If nothing else… IF NOTHING ELSE, go out there, say ‘Hello.’ Tell her, ‘Look, little sister I am ok.’ Let her know that you’re alive, let her see your face. Don’t hide away from her like she’s some Forsaken plague…”
She continued whispering weakly, “What if she… Yells at me or says she hates me or… I don’t know, mum…” Gwen closed her eyes, “I know she’s me sis. And I love her… You… You couldn’t just go tell her I’m fine for me?” The thought of actually confronting Morgana at this point, after all this time, filled the girl with unexplainable dread.
"I have told her you’re fine. I’ve also held her when she cried into my fur because she’s upset and she’s afraid… but I’m not the girl’s blood. You are. Now if you want we can both walk out there and you can at the very least hug her, tell her that things are ok…" Alnarra lets out a low chuckle, "And if she yells, then she yells. That’s what sisters and brothers do from time to time. But in any case, I think it will be good for you both."
Gwen opened her eyes, fresh tears still running down her face. She scrubs at her eyes to clear them in that distinctly Lochlainn way. “Y-you’ll be there?”
"I’m your mum, aren’t I? Why wouldn’t I be there. I want to see you both be happy and the only way to do that is to at the very least have you two talking again. She’s scared, you’re upset, and neither of you should be. You are sisters." She goes to wrap her paws around the little girl pulling her into her furry chest before licking at her face to clear the tears.
With a loud sigh, Gwen took a deep, shuddering breath. And then another, more calm one. “Where is she…?”
Before answering, Alnarra pulled out a small muzzle and saddle combination from the satchel at her side. With a strange looking wiggle and certain skill, she fit it on. The end result giving off the impression of one of the Kaldorei riding sabers, complete with another stretch and a yawn. “She’s in the stables, little one. Hop on and I’ll take you there.”
"Hop… on…?"
"Yeah, I used to do this for my children all the time when they were younger."
——-
The two made their way to the stables, a grimace on Gwen’s face. Whether or not it was from the bumpy ride, her feet dragging slightly on the ground, or the impending confrontation even Gwen didn’t know. She clambered off the Druidess when they reached their destination, Alnarra shifting quickly back into her elven form with an audible groan. “Ms. Morgana there is someone here who wants to see you!” her voice was calm and pleasant. She wrapped her arms tightly around Gwen, holding the little girl close to her, giving her a small amount of comfort.
Morgana’s raspy voice called out from her stall. “To spot me, guv?” Gwen flinched against Alnarra’s shoulders at the obvious sounds of her sister’s damaged throat. “‘Oo would want to…” Her voice trailed off with realization and the sounds of hay rustling came from one of the stalls. Morgana appeared from around the wall with straw sticking out of her hair. She looked at the two standing across from her, “Sticky Paws…?” Gwen flinched again at hearing her childhood nickname. Her eyes were drawn immediately to the four claw marks that rent her sister’s face from forehead to chin and the milky white left eye looking back at her. She found herself unable to speak, faced with this spectre of her past.
"Your big sister decided it was time to come by and say hello." Alnarra spoke for her with a bright smile and a nod of encouragement. "She’s afraid that you want to yell at her. Now, I told her that’s not the case, at least not today." She chuckled as she gave a small but encouraging nudge to Gwen, pushing her towards her sister and whispering, "It’s going to be ok little one, just say hello and give her a hug."
"Yell at ‘er…?" Morgana looked surprised, "Why would I yell at ‘er?" Gwen stumbled forward awkwardly at the nudge. Hesitantly she mumbled as she took another step forward, "Um… Hi, ‘Gana…"
Alnarra kept pace with the woman, staying close to Gwen. “She’s… upset about what happened, more upset then she knows, and she’s afraid.” Gwen stopped a few feet away from her sister and Alnarra gave her a small, reassuring kiss on the back of the head, ruffling her hair with her hand. With another nudge forward the Druidess continued, “I told her that wouldn’t happen though, that you just wanted to see how she was doing.”
At Alnarra’s instance, the two Lochlainns hugged, Gwenhwyfarr awkwardly and Morgana with a genuine smile on her face. “Sticky Paws… C’mon. I told yer all were forgiven in the Light.” She smiled, her hand holding the back of Gwen’s head against her chest which forced the shorter girl to stare right into her scarred and damaged throat.
Gwen shuddered at another visual reminder of her violent change, “I know you did but… But you said nothing of what you think.”
Alnarra moved closer to the two sisters. She placed her hand on both of their shoulders, giving them both a pat and leaned down so she can be at their level, “It’s ok… you two are siblings. You must speak the truth to each other, and now so more than ever. If you sit on your emotions they will eat away at you.” She leaned into kiss Gwen’s forehead.
Gwenhwyfarr looked to Alnarra for a quick moment, taking a step back. She reached up hesitantly with her hand and traced lightly the scars on Morgana’s face. “I’m… I’m so very sorry, ‘Gana…”
Morgana, in a similar way, traced the scar around Gwen’s neck. “I know yer are, sis… Yer don’t ‘ave ter beat yorself up over this. I’ve forgiven yer.”
Alnarra walked back a few steps, watching from a safe distance between the two girls. She bit her lip as she found a place sitting on the railings with her arms crossed. Shooting them both a reassuring smile she offered, “If either of you need me to leave at any moment, please tell me.”
The two sisters looked towards Alnarra as if just remembering she were there. “Please stay mum,” warred with “Yer fine, Alnarra” as both sisters spoke up at the exact same time. They turned back to look at each other and laughed uneasily before lapsing into silence.
"Yer sure do ‘ave a bit of blokes ‘round ‘ere ‘oo care for yer…" Morgana said softly, after a time.
Alnarra gives a happy nod at the words and the laugh. She practically ripped Kykona out of her bag, going to whisper something to him. The little sprite darter was quick to fly towards the stables humming merrily as it went. Gwen smiled slightly for the first time, looking to her sister. “Well, the Devilclaw take care if their own you know. They’re like a second family.”
Morgana looked to Alnarra as if for verification before saying, “Well then I’m glad yer found them…”
Alnarra gave up her perch on the fence, going to walk over and hug Gwen tight. “She’s also pretty useful from time to time,” she giggled as she pointed to her green highlights. About the same time, the little sprite darter flew back with a rather strange looking gnomish device in its paws and looked quite proud of itself. The look of horror on Alnarra’s face could not be described as she began to shout vulgarities in Darnassian, causing the little sprite darter to start arguing back at her. Eventually Alnarra grabbed Kykona by the ear and pointed it back towards the stall hissing at it to go grab something else this time.
The two sisters laughed at Kykona’s antics. Morgana reached out and ran her fingers through Gwen’s hair, noting this week’s strawberry blonde color. She let out a small bark of a laugh, “And woss wrong wiv us natural ‘air color, Sticky Paws…?” She twirled a finger around her own tawny brown hair with a smile.
Gwen shrugged, “Spend two years on the run, ‘Gana… I’ve been trying to avoid notice by changing colors every so often.” She smiled, “Guess I’m just used to it now.”
Morgana’s hand fell back to trace Gwen’s neck scar again, her voice lowering. “Favver Abrachaim were wrong. ‘E shouldn’t ‘ave tried ter ‘ave yer ‘anged…” They lapsed into silence again, looking at each other uneasily.
"It was the priest who wished to have little Gwen hanged?" Alnarra tilted her head slightly before giving a nod "I see…" The small sprite darter came back, this time with a pot of freshly cooked soup. Alnarra is quick to spoon some out into three small bowls, "I see…" She bit her lip a bit, "Morgana… what happened that night. Gwen has told me what she remembers… but I want to hear your side as well."
Shock and horror shot through Gwen as she turned to give Alnarra a look full of meaning. Morgana, equally surprised, stuttered slightly. “Wot… Wot ‘append that night? I…” She turned her good eye to look back at Gwen, whose eyes were wide and appeared to be visibly shaking. “I don’t remember,” she lied quite obviously.
Alnarra seemed to notice Gwen’s look as well, reaching forward and grabbing hold of the girl almost protectively. Her expression is incredibly serious as she looked to the younger Lochlainn. “Morgana… she needs to know what you think happened that night.” She pulled Gwen down, keeping her nestled close to her and whispered, “It’s ok… it’s ok,” rocking the girl slightly.
Morgana took a deep breath, never taking her eye off her sister. “Gwenhwyfarr came ‘ome that night, right? I were messing wiv me doll by the fireplace but I could spot she’d been cryin’ and she were ‘oldin’ ‘er arm like she were ‘urt. Well… Her and us parents got into a fight and… And she yelled sumfink about not wantin’ ter take care of me and stomped up ter her room all angry like.” Gwen nodded along as Morgana recounted her side of the story. That night was clear in her mind as well, but hearing it told from her sister’s vantage point offered a new perspective.
"Muvver and Favver were goin’ on ter ffemselves so I snuck up the stairs ter see if I could ‘elp me sis… But wen I knocked on ‘er door I ‘eard this ‘orrible low growl…" Gwen felt tears come to her eyes, knowing what was coming next. Morgana stopped her tale at seeing this. She looked very unsure about whether or not to continue.
Alnarra pulled Gwen in tighter. Her tone was serious as she simply nodded at Morgana, “It’s alright. She needs to understand that the creature that attacked her sister that night wasn’t her. It was an abomination of Druidic magic.” Alnarra paused a very long time before speaking further, her own emotional rawness clear in her tone and a certain fear as she spoke quietly, “Just as I had to understand the creature which attacked and hurt my husband on the night of my children’s death was not me.” Gwen looked up into Alnarra’s eyes, the Druidess’s expression stone cold.
Morgana swallowed with some difficulty before continuing on. “Well I went back dahn ter go back to messing wiv me doll. Finks seemed normal for a few minutes, uvver than Muvver and Favver fighting quietly… Wen suddenly we ‘eard a loud crash from upstairs. Muvver rushed over ter me, Favver rushed over ter where ‘is weapons were wich I fought were right strange… Until this great big ‘airy beast came leapin’ from upstairs and tore Muvver oray from me. I remember Muvver screamin’… I remember blindin’ pain as me face were clored… I remember… I remember dyin’… She… She tore me froat out… I couldn’t spot out of me left eye… I couldn’t breaffe, the only sounds I could ‘ear were… Was my own gurglin’ and me Favver yellin’… And ev’ryfink went black…”
With a sob, Gwen turned away from her sister and buried her face into Alnarra’s shoulder. She cried pitifully, “I’m so… So very sorry.” Her voice whispered, “So sorry… Oh Light…”
"You both understand that the creature that killed your parents that night wasn’t Gwen correct?" she looked to Morgana, "The creature that did this to you was not, is not, and never again can be your sister. You know this right?" Alnarra nudged Gwen lightly, prying the girl away from her shoulder. "Shift to your worgen form… there is something I want you both to see."
Gwen’s eyes went wide as she stared into Alnarra’s eyes. She could hear her younger sister behind her protest, “She doesn’t ‘ave ter…”
Alnarra waved one finger under the scared Worgen girl’s nose but spoke sternly to her sister. “This is something you need to see Morgana, because you need to understand what attacked you that night, and you need to understand what and who your sister is now. More important than that,” she turned her eyes to the girl in her arms, “Gwen needs to understand exactly why things are different now,” She gave the two Lochlainns a deadly serious look, “You both need to understand for yourselves and for each other just WHAT the curse is and what it is not.”
Gwen hesitated for a few more moments before turning towards her kin. Morgana took a step back reflexively from her gaze. With a quick, deep breath Gwen shifted into her wolf skin, reaching in to that simmering pot of controlled rage and anger. She felt herself grow taller as always, now finally towering over her normally taller sister. The younger Lochlainn cried out, taking another step back as she looked at Gwen. Her back hit the stable wall and she shook her head. Gwen watched the look of panic growing on her sister’s face, felt the tears travel down her muzzle as her kin turned away.
The Worgen started in surprise as she felt Alnarra’s hands on her shoulder again. “Morgana! Look at us… Look at her, look in her eyes,” she practically demanded. “Tell me… and tell her… Look at her eyes.” Morgana slowly turned away from the fence, “Look at those eyes and tell me if what stares back at you is the same terrifying monster that took your father and mother away from you or if instead you see a scared, lonely girl who right now is hurt terribly. More then that I want you to touch her, because you need to feel that under that coat of fur, behind those scared eyes, it’s still the same Gwenhwyfarr, and it is NOT the monster, not anymore, and not ever again.” Gwen took a small step forward, which Morgana flinched back from. The Worgen let out a mournful sounding whine, flinching back in her own way and stared longingly at her sister.
Alnarra became more insistent, “Morgana… please. You need to understand, you have to understand what the curse ACTUALLY is, and until you look at her eyes, until you touch her like this, you are never going to understand that. Now I know you are a brave little girl, and this fur suit in front of you right now is nothing more than your sister’s out of control shaving habits.” Her voice goes quieter as she tries to comfort them both, “It is ok… don’t be afraid.”
Morgana turned a fearfully curious look towards her sister at the sad sounding whine. Slowly at first, and then gaining confidence as she crossed the stable yard, she reached Gwenhwyfarr and looked up into the Worgen’s golden eyes. Her hand reached up and Gwen flinched back from it, but Morgana continued on touching her older sister on the neck and feeling around for the neck scar there. “St…Sticky Paws…?” Gwen looked down at Morgana and gave her a small nod, swallowing audibly.
"What happened to your big sister is perhaps one of my people’s greatest failings, and a crime that is beyond words," She sighed before going to gently pet Gwen’s head, ruffling her hair. "But under that coat of fur, behind those eyes, it’s still little Gwen… your sister with the Sticky Paws." A certain smile crossed her face as she began to tickle the Worgen girl, "And she’s just as lost, hapless, and goofy as the rest of us."
"Hey!" Gwen protested and squirmed under the tickling. "Stop it mum!" She let out a bark of a laugh. Perhaps at the laugh, or the sight of her sister being tickled, or maybe at hearing Gwen talk for the first time in her wolf skin, Morgana pulled her older sister close into a tight hug saving her from the tickle attack. "It right is yer under there…" she whispered into Gwen’s fur.
Gwen looked back to Alnarra, her face full of the surprise she felt before wrapping her own furry arms around her younger sister. “Yeah, it’s me ‘Gana. M’sorry if I scared you. I’m so sorry… For everything…” They held each other close, both sister’s shoulders shuddering with tears.
The Druidess took a step back, smiling faintly to herself and letting the two girls just hold each other. “It has not been an easy path… for either of you. I’m sure it has been more difficult then I imagine, but you are both blood, and right now… right here you both have a chance to be next to each other. Family…” Alnarra choked up slightly, her voice full of emotion, “family is more important than the world itself.”
The two girls turned their three eyes towards Alnarra and they nod at the same time. Gwen looked back to her sister at seeing this with a brief chuckle, Morgana shaking her head at their similarities. Alnarra observed it all, beaming with pride. She knelt down a bit to look up to both of them, “You’re both going to be ok… It’s going to be a long and painful road, but you are both going to be ok… And I think that we should all schedule a trip… To see some people, to see an old place. Not right now… Perhaps not even soon, but eventually there is a place that the two of you need to visit together.”
Gwen had an inkling she knew where the other woman was thinking. “Not right now, no… We’re moving to camp up North for a bit for that contract, remember.” She looked to Morgana. “You’re welcome to come, you know…” Her younger sister shook her head almost immediately, “No. If it involves yor Devilclaw and contracts… No…”
"I will be moving with them as well to help tend to the wounded… but," Alnarra called from over their shoulders some distance away. She was returning from her stall in the stables holding in her hands a heavy looking book. Contained within are pages and pages of documentation on the Night Elf’s own internal study of the Worgen Curse, the stories which lead to the events, and everything else. She tentatively handed it over to Morgana, "While I’m gone you can read this. It’s been transcribed in common for the most part, but I left some notes for anything that’s still in Darnassian."
Morgana looked at the book, flipping through a few of the pages. “I couldn’t…”
Alnarra shook her head before the girl even started protesting, “I already had to memorize it all for a test and the like anyway,” She smiled a bit, “It’s something that can help you pass the time while we’re gone, and give you some insight on… why things are the way they are for your sister. When the world gives us unsettling blows it is best to look for the cause. Besides otherwise it’s just going to rot in my hay bale.”
Morgana curtseys low to the Druidess, “Thank yer, Alnarra…” She takes the large book, hesitates just a moment, and then gives Alnarra a hug. Gwen looked on a little awkwardly, still in her wolf skin.
With a smile towards the two girls, Alnarra took a seat in front of one of the still-steaming bowls of soup. She patted the ground around her, ”Well I don’t know about you two but I think that now is a good time for lunch, besides, Morgana was telling me just yesterday she wanted to ask you all about your love life,” she teased Gwen happily.
The Worgen girl melted down to her human skin with a deep breath, staring at Alnarra in horror. She turned her eyes to Morgana who laughed a raspy laugh as they both settled in front of their bowls of soup.
Alnarra gave a heatlhy chuckle before she teased Gwen once again, “She mentioned you didn’t always have a thing for older women.” There was a cheeky expression on Alnarra’s face as she shoved a spoonful of soup into her mouth.
Gwenhwyfarr’s opened and shut her mouth a few times, and she felt her cheeks turning red as she looked to Morgana. Her younger sister giggled around a spoonful of soup, swallowing with only a little difficulty. “I were tellin’ ‘er about yer little crush on the neighbor boy. Yer remember ‘im, right? Wot were ‘is name again?” She shot a lop-sided smile at her older sister.
Gwen shook her head, remembering the boy fondly. “Conall…” She whispered. “I haven’t thought of him in years…”
Giggling at the sisterly chatter, Alnarra patted Gwen lightly on her back “Oh, Conall was his name, eh? And what did he look like?”
Gwen’s voice turned wispy as she finally sat down to eat as well, “Oh… A good hand taller than me. Hair as red as a flame… Gorgeous emerald green eyes…” Her cheeks reddened further as she shoved a spoonful of soup into her mouth. The two women sitting around her laughed loudly at her expression as they sat and talked pleasantly for most of the rest of the morning and well into the afternoon.
Elune's Grace ( Myst of Pandaria )
The druidess sat in a quiet huddle, crying softly. The storm overhead thundered and boomed through the human city shaking the ground with each crash. Her ears wilted and she shivered against the cold rain, blending with the tears that had run down her cheek. Today had been an utter disaster for the woman, nothing like what she had wanted at all. It had started off so well, Alnarra had gone to the temple to pray as she always did, asking the goddess to watch over her, her children, and her mate. Then as if she had offended the goddess herself, Ms. Seya had spoken with her, their conversation had only been brief, but it seemed to upset the woman greatly.
Alnarra had been unsure of what to do, so she asked the only person she could think of, and sweeping out of the sky with a furious and accusing glance she had been asked to step away for what she had done. Then when she had wanted to return to apologize, she saw something that upset her greatly. She had tried to explain things to herself, to reconcile that Seya was unique, that the woman’s words about Alnarra being special still meant something.
Then when she had crawled out of her miserable sleep to go apologize for her actions earlier in the day she came to discover a woman who actively and knowingly plotted her murder sitting on her lovers lap, cuddling together by the fire. A woman she had been told had long since had broken apart. The blow to her ego and her shattered self-confidence had sent her into a blind rage seeing only one option, to end the hurtful relationship before it went any further. So she erupted in an uncharacteristic rage on the person that she loved most in the world.
Huddled close to the stonework, she coughed, her immune system compromised by her sadness, the cold and the rain. Her words were only in Darnassian, any hint of common long since disappearing. Her forehead dripped with blood from where she had slammed into the masonry several times, berating herself for her stupidity. The small sprite darter that had remained as a constant companion watched sadly, truly unsure of how to help the woman. It whined softly at her, only to be pushed away, “Go away Kykona or I’ll just hurt you too” she whimpered sniffling.
Her rage had long since subsided into misery and regret, calming as for the first time in nearly 5 years the druidess felt truly alone. She knew what she had said had been unkind and there was no way she could repair that damage, but when she needed a reassuring touch most, her lover had backed down reaffirming her anger and rage as justified. If she had felt unwelcome previously, after what she had said there was no way in Alnarra’s mind that she could make up for what had been said. Her head drooped and her ears wilted as she called out desperately on the stone, only mumbles and sobs to be made out by any discerning ear.
The storm became shriller and more demanding, the small wooden signs that hung around time shuddering in the winds. Alnarra brought her arms around her knees curling up ever closer she went to grasp the small locket around her neck tugging at it, praying into the cloudy darkness, “Goddess… I am sorry for being such a miserable failure of a Kaldorei, I know this is my punishment, that I should not grow close to others, that it was my fault for Veraldan’s death, I should have been the one to die, I should have been the one to die in place of my children. I ask that when you take my life that you make it painful and agonizing to make up for all the terrible mistakes I have made, the people I have hurt. For Bael, For Hafu… for her”
The words made her sob once more as she clutched at her chest, coughing heavily praying that perhaps she could die right her in this storm, to be struck down by a flash of lightning and see the world no more.
“I still love her… and I’ve pushed her away,” Alnarra cried desperately to no one, “Why am I so stupid?” she slammed her forehead into the stonework several more times for good measure, a certain degree of damage being done by the punishment, blood now running to join the tears and rain that ran down her cheeks.
“I HATE MYSELF” she shouted into the storm, quickly be followed by coughing in an agonizing manner into her hands the druidess slouched over curling up in the mud and destruction, the remnants of the once beautiful park of Stormwind city were what welcomed her scared huddled form. “This is what they all wanted, this will make everyone else happy. Seya can be happy, Phaedra will be happy, Gwen will be happy, Delegoth will be happy,” she murmured to herself, letting her face come to rest in the mud, “Everyone will be happier… the Goddess won’t hate me anymore… momma won’t hate me”
Her grip on conscious steadily got weaker and weaker, finally fading from the exhaustion. The druidess lay broken, this time perhaps irrevocably so.
(( Later ))
The druidess sat quietly in the temple, listening to her brothers and sisters pray to the goddess. Her usual place near the fountain instead replaced by a small huddle near the wall, rocking back and forth slowly she clutched to her knees weeping softly. Her form was riddled with mud and dirt, her limbs weak from starvation and dehydration. She had eaten with little Gwen earlier in the day, but had not been able to keep the fish and water down, her depression and terrible mood sending her stomach curdling.
There were not many Kaldorei in the temple today, her people, mostly nocturnal still had many hours before they awoke. Alnarra had been unable to sleep, tormented by the nightmares and her own constant anxiety. She was having more and more trouble keeping the beast which she relied on from her protection and skills in combat at bay, the feline form’s most base instincts wrestling with the druids weakened state. Every second her pulse ticked by she wrestled with the beast internally, her eyes sealed shut to keep it inside.
“Goddess,” she pleaded, her voice tired and desperate, “I came to the temple, I asked you to bless me and my mate, and on that day you my mate chose to leave me,” she clutched more tightly to herself breathing in deep as the inner conflict raged on, “I do not understand, why am I so different? Why am I, as Mr. Keledon said, broken? I tried to do what was right, I tried to pray to you, to ask for your guidance, why do you never respond? Is it something I have done to displease you? Ms Phaedra, the woman who plotted my death and no enjoys breakfast with my mate, she said she prayed to you and you answered her prayers. Am I that offensive to you goddess that a Gilnean is more deserving of your aide then I?”
The druidess sniffled quietly in the corner rocking back and forth against the stone structure, “Please goddess, I beg you, show me the path. I thought I had found it and just when I was comfortable with my steps it was washed out from under me. Everyone tells me that I am strong, that these trials serve some kind of purpose, but I do not feel strong. I have never felt strong,” Her eyes drifted to the elaborate masonry that provided a roof to the temple, her eyes looking for some sign, anything that might lead her to understand better, “What must I do? I have given my children, my companions, everything has been taken from me. I have nothing left, even the clothes on my back have been burned to a cinder on this path. Am I so terribly wrong?”
She clenched her fist slamming them into a nearby column, leaving a bloody trail upon it, “Why?! Why was I made this way? Why must I suffer this path? Why does everything I love and care for get taken from me?! How long before you take Gwen and Lithiaris from me? How long before I must bury Alice and Inodraen? How many dies should I count before I weep by Araane and Bael’s graves? Is it not enough? What have I not offered to you goddess? What have I not given you in service to your name? Why do you hate me so?”
She inhaled a sharp breath, the battle in her mind unforgiving as she clenched her fist tightly, “I am so tired Goddess, so broken and shattered that I cannot stand anymore. I feel like a saber with a string in front of my face, the chance of happiness dangled in front of me but never truly given. I want to smile again Goddess, like I did when I watched my children play about in the forest. I want to know happiness and safety once more. I don’t understand why I can’t have those things. Is it because of something my people have done? Have we forsaken you in some way? Please Goddess tell me! Tell me what I can do to make things right with you”
Alnarra shuddered after her upset plea, her form going limp against the grass, she began to look at the other Kaldorei in the temple, wondering what were here for. If they had faced the same trials, the same pressures that loomed over her like a specter. “I wanted this one to be my escape Goddess, I wanted to be on a path to happiness again. I wanted to cast aside the shadows and the scars of the past and now I am buried in them further then I have before,” she went to look at her hands, her mind seeming to impose the image of claws atop them as she swallowed trying to keep the images at bay, “Inodraen… he is….” She grows quiet, “Goddess you know more than anyone that in light of recent events this is what I want, it is what I always wanted… but why now of all times? I just… I’m scared not just for me but for him. You saw what I did to Bael, what I did to Hafu, you know more than anyone that I have hurt people terribly. I cannot bear the pain of hurting another”
She stops going to gently fiddle with the grass floor, pulling one of the blades and rubbing it soothingly between her fingers, “I want to be happy again Goddess, I want nothing more than to live a life without fear of burying another loved one, and I Know… I know that now more so then ever that simply is not possible, but please Goddess… if this is the path you intend for me… please give me a sign, something, anything” she lowered her head as if bowing, “I cannot take this pain any longer, I cannot wake up in the morning with a smile on my face asking for you favor only to go to bed in tears once more. Please Goddess… I beg of you stop hurting me.”
Alnarra had been unsure of what to do, so she asked the only person she could think of, and sweeping out of the sky with a furious and accusing glance she had been asked to step away for what she had done. Then when she had wanted to return to apologize, she saw something that upset her greatly. She had tried to explain things to herself, to reconcile that Seya was unique, that the woman’s words about Alnarra being special still meant something.
Then when she had crawled out of her miserable sleep to go apologize for her actions earlier in the day she came to discover a woman who actively and knowingly plotted her murder sitting on her lovers lap, cuddling together by the fire. A woman she had been told had long since had broken apart. The blow to her ego and her shattered self-confidence had sent her into a blind rage seeing only one option, to end the hurtful relationship before it went any further. So she erupted in an uncharacteristic rage on the person that she loved most in the world.
Huddled close to the stonework, she coughed, her immune system compromised by her sadness, the cold and the rain. Her words were only in Darnassian, any hint of common long since disappearing. Her forehead dripped with blood from where she had slammed into the masonry several times, berating herself for her stupidity. The small sprite darter that had remained as a constant companion watched sadly, truly unsure of how to help the woman. It whined softly at her, only to be pushed away, “Go away Kykona or I’ll just hurt you too” she whimpered sniffling.
Her rage had long since subsided into misery and regret, calming as for the first time in nearly 5 years the druidess felt truly alone. She knew what she had said had been unkind and there was no way she could repair that damage, but when she needed a reassuring touch most, her lover had backed down reaffirming her anger and rage as justified. If she had felt unwelcome previously, after what she had said there was no way in Alnarra’s mind that she could make up for what had been said. Her head drooped and her ears wilted as she called out desperately on the stone, only mumbles and sobs to be made out by any discerning ear.
The storm became shriller and more demanding, the small wooden signs that hung around time shuddering in the winds. Alnarra brought her arms around her knees curling up ever closer she went to grasp the small locket around her neck tugging at it, praying into the cloudy darkness, “Goddess… I am sorry for being such a miserable failure of a Kaldorei, I know this is my punishment, that I should not grow close to others, that it was my fault for Veraldan’s death, I should have been the one to die, I should have been the one to die in place of my children. I ask that when you take my life that you make it painful and agonizing to make up for all the terrible mistakes I have made, the people I have hurt. For Bael, For Hafu… for her”
The words made her sob once more as she clutched at her chest, coughing heavily praying that perhaps she could die right her in this storm, to be struck down by a flash of lightning and see the world no more.
“I still love her… and I’ve pushed her away,” Alnarra cried desperately to no one, “Why am I so stupid?” she slammed her forehead into the stonework several more times for good measure, a certain degree of damage being done by the punishment, blood now running to join the tears and rain that ran down her cheeks.
“I HATE MYSELF” she shouted into the storm, quickly be followed by coughing in an agonizing manner into her hands the druidess slouched over curling up in the mud and destruction, the remnants of the once beautiful park of Stormwind city were what welcomed her scared huddled form. “This is what they all wanted, this will make everyone else happy. Seya can be happy, Phaedra will be happy, Gwen will be happy, Delegoth will be happy,” she murmured to herself, letting her face come to rest in the mud, “Everyone will be happier… the Goddess won’t hate me anymore… momma won’t hate me”
Her grip on conscious steadily got weaker and weaker, finally fading from the exhaustion. The druidess lay broken, this time perhaps irrevocably so.
The druidess sat quietly in the temple, listening to her brothers and sisters pray to the goddess. Her usual place near the fountain instead replaced by a small huddle near the wall, rocking back and forth slowly she clutched to her knees weeping softly. Her form was riddled with mud and dirt, her limbs weak from starvation and dehydration. She had eaten with little Gwen earlier in the day, but had not been able to keep the fish and water down, her depression and terrible mood sending her stomach curdling.
There were not many Kaldorei in the temple today, her people, mostly nocturnal still had many hours before they awoke. Alnarra had been unable to sleep, tormented by the nightmares and her own constant anxiety. She was having more and more trouble keeping the beast which she relied on from her protection and skills in combat at bay, the feline form’s most base instincts wrestling with the druids weakened state. Every second her pulse ticked by she wrestled with the beast internally, her eyes sealed shut to keep it inside.
“Goddess,” she pleaded, her voice tired and desperate, “I came to the temple, I asked you to bless me and my mate, and on that day you my mate chose to leave me,” she clutched more tightly to herself breathing in deep as the inner conflict raged on, “I do not understand, why am I so different? Why am I, as Mr. Keledon said, broken? I tried to do what was right, I tried to pray to you, to ask for your guidance, why do you never respond? Is it something I have done to displease you? Ms Phaedra, the woman who plotted my death and no enjoys breakfast with my mate, she said she prayed to you and you answered her prayers. Am I that offensive to you goddess that a Gilnean is more deserving of your aide then I?”
The druidess sniffled quietly in the corner rocking back and forth against the stone structure, “Please goddess, I beg you, show me the path. I thought I had found it and just when I was comfortable with my steps it was washed out from under me. Everyone tells me that I am strong, that these trials serve some kind of purpose, but I do not feel strong. I have never felt strong,” Her eyes drifted to the elaborate masonry that provided a roof to the temple, her eyes looking for some sign, anything that might lead her to understand better, “What must I do? I have given my children, my companions, everything has been taken from me. I have nothing left, even the clothes on my back have been burned to a cinder on this path. Am I so terribly wrong?”
She clenched her fist slamming them into a nearby column, leaving a bloody trail upon it, “Why?! Why was I made this way? Why must I suffer this path? Why does everything I love and care for get taken from me?! How long before you take Gwen and Lithiaris from me? How long before I must bury Alice and Inodraen? How many dies should I count before I weep by Araane and Bael’s graves? Is it not enough? What have I not offered to you goddess? What have I not given you in service to your name? Why do you hate me so?”
She inhaled a sharp breath, the battle in her mind unforgiving as she clenched her fist tightly, “I am so tired Goddess, so broken and shattered that I cannot stand anymore. I feel like a saber with a string in front of my face, the chance of happiness dangled in front of me but never truly given. I want to smile again Goddess, like I did when I watched my children play about in the forest. I want to know happiness and safety once more. I don’t understand why I can’t have those things. Is it because of something my people have done? Have we forsaken you in some way? Please Goddess tell me! Tell me what I can do to make things right with you”
Alnarra shuddered after her upset plea, her form going limp against the grass, she began to look at the other Kaldorei in the temple, wondering what were here for. If they had faced the same trials, the same pressures that loomed over her like a specter. “I wanted this one to be my escape Goddess, I wanted to be on a path to happiness again. I wanted to cast aside the shadows and the scars of the past and now I am buried in them further then I have before,” she went to look at her hands, her mind seeming to impose the image of claws atop them as she swallowed trying to keep the images at bay, “Inodraen… he is….” She grows quiet, “Goddess you know more than anyone that in light of recent events this is what I want, it is what I always wanted… but why now of all times? I just… I’m scared not just for me but for him. You saw what I did to Bael, what I did to Hafu, you know more than anyone that I have hurt people terribly. I cannot bear the pain of hurting another”
She stops going to gently fiddle with the grass floor, pulling one of the blades and rubbing it soothingly between her fingers, “I want to be happy again Goddess, I want nothing more than to live a life without fear of burying another loved one, and I Know… I know that now more so then ever that simply is not possible, but please Goddess… if this is the path you intend for me… please give me a sign, something, anything” she lowered her head as if bowing, “I cannot take this pain any longer, I cannot wake up in the morning with a smile on my face asking for you favor only to go to bed in tears once more. Please Goddess… I beg of you stop hurting me.”
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